Dear Christine,
I am mortified. My husband, son and I have to move in with my parents. My husband was out of work for a few months and it set us back with all of the bills pilling up. He is working again but for nearly half of what he made before. My parents are being really nice about the whole thing and I think they want us back. But it is really embarrassing. Plus my son has to switch schools. My husband is not taking it well at all. Can you offer any advice about this?
“Homeward bound”
Dear “Homeward bound,”
Hello! I am sorry that you are feeling down about this, but I see positive things in your future. Plus with the new job I see that you are taking the right steps to get your life back to where you want it to be. Remember that this is a temporary situation.
Many families find themselves in a situation where they have to move back home. It is tough out there right now! First of all, take a minute to think about the situation. You have a loving family that is helping you out – many people don’t have that. They may be very grateful that they have this time with you and their grandson. Secondly, you realized that you needed help and you reached out to someone. Third, your husband is working again! Congratulations!
Now…let’s work on changing your situation…
Have an exit strategy
One thing that I have observed is that it is difficult to move out once you move in. But have an exit date – an exact date. Put it on a calendar and focus all of your energy toward it. Use the money that you are saving to pay off your old bills. Put money in a savings account for the down payment on a house. Pay off the credit cards.
Use this time to "reboot" but you are going to be up and running again full speed. Remind yourself and your husband of the move out date every single day.
But while you are there….
Be a part of the household
Also, although there are probably a lot of emotions going on, nothing creates more of a rift than if one party feels like they are contributing to this partnership more than the other. Remember to be a part of the household. If your parents don’t ask for rent or utilities, please try to help out as much as possible. Offer to mow the lawn once a week or fix dinner three times a week. Fix up the area that you are living in to add more value to the home. Commit to working this hard throughout the entire time that you are there.
Also, now is also a time to have a little fun with these people who may not be in your life too many more years. Take some time to go shopping or offer to take them to a movie. This could be your chance to become much closer to your family.
Your future is getting better. You have a lot going for you. It is easy to feel bad about the situation, but it is just as easy to feel good. I wish you the very best.
Christine
